Day three in London

I didn't get very much sleep at all last night at all. I was up till three in the morning thinking about when the day comes that I get to fly home and I walk through the airport terminal to see everyone again. Yesterday morning my depression hit me even harder after my student orientation. I came back to my room after orientation and slept for about three hours. Jeff came back from his internship orientation and I used his phone to call home and tried to call Caroline although she didn't answer.

Ugh, I was holding back tears talking to my mom yesterday and I have to hold back tears every time I get on a computer and see all of my friends at home. I don't want people to think I'm retarded so I'm trying to get control of myself.

I had to get out of my tiny room before I killed myself so me and Jeff went walking around and I took a bunch of pictures that I can now upload (woo) and then stopped at the Paddington Street Gardens. I kind of sat there comatose just wanting to be back in the United States, and then picturing Caroline sitting next to me because the park was really pretty.

One good thing that I like about London is the weather. It's the begnning of July and it's 65 degrees outside. The weather is so perfect that there is no need for air conditioning.

Being here the past couple days has really made me appreciate the United States and everything I had more than I ever have in my life. I need to tell my family I love them more often, I need to stop fighting with my sister over stupid crap, I need to tell my friends I appreciate their company more, I need to spend even more time with Caroline because we didn't have enough time at all before I left.

How long is it before I come home? September 21st? It's too much for me right now. I've never lived on my own before and I'm doing it for the first time in a different country. I definitely didn't ease into this living on my own situation. I'm terrified beyond belief to try plugging in my laptop because I know if my laptop fries then I'm coming home. I'm not going to counceling, I'm not going to try and make do on these ridiculously slow computers I'm on right now, I'm just going to call the airport, do whatever it takes to change my ticket and come home.

So today was supposed to be my first day of class and I woke up at like 8:30 to get ready and made sure I had my maps and my schedule in hand. I managed to find the building where all three of my classes are supposed to take place and I went up to the third floor to find a tiny hallway with four doors that all had signs on them that said "FIRE DOOR KEEP SHUT" so I was confused because I thought if I opened the door then an alarm would go off. I went back downstairs and asked someone for help and they told me the elevator goes up to the third floor but I have to take stairs to get to the fourth.

I found my classroom and there was nobody in it and the lights were off, so I sat down in a desk by myself and waited about 15 minutes for something to happen, and when that didn't work I went and found another teacher and he told me that the 11 week students don't start class until Tuesday and that there will be some random Friday where I'm supposed to make up the Monday class that was supposed to take place today. So after standing in front of a full class and saying "IIIIII feel stupid", I left and took some more pictures of what looks like a castle that's right across from the building I'm staying in.

And now I can finally upload some pictures, and I have a crapload of them so here they are:


Me on the plane before takeoff.


Me and Jeff after 8 hours on the plane, and no we weren't cuddling.


Flying into Gatwick. I believe that's the Thames river.


Random city flyby.


Backyard of Jeff's best friend Mike's house on the military base.


Mmm... steak. For some reason the fire blew up in Mike's face when he was taking them off the grill and he dropped all the steaks in the grass.


A very, very unsafe spinning wheel of torture on the kids playground. I'm assuming that thing would be a total disaster if you got on it drunk.


The countryside while on the express train to Marylebone.


This is basically the entire space that I have to live in. I hate it.


This is basically the entire closet that I have to put my crap in. I hate it.


This is basically the entire bathroom I have to share with four other people. I hate it more than my room and my closet combined.


The view from my room. Kind of cool I guess.


This is the castleish looking place right across from my building.


The entrance to the castleish looking place.


Benedict Arnold's crib.


The Smartcar. We need these instead of the retarded Hummers.


I think it's a church.


Pretty sweet architecture.


Random super tall building.


The Hilton in London.


The front of another cool looking building. I think it might be an embassy.


This bulding looks fierce.


Not sure what this is but it kind of reminds me of the Colloseum.


Random John F. Kennedy memorial.


Paddington park.


I was told that the bodies of about 50,000 hanged men are buried underneath Paddington park. Sounds cute.


The gardens in Paddington park.


For Caroline. <3



Those are all of the pictures I have so far. Since I don't have class today I'm probably going to Abbey road and then try to get my cell phone and wireless internet figured out. Bye for now, I miss you all.

<3